Any colour you like (or The Other Dream)

Really, I hate blogging. But I love writing. It's important for me to document my thoughts and to preserve them for the future so I can later embarrass myself when I revisit a certain time in my life. At the same time, however, I will start a new entry and soon abandon because I think, "Meh...who cares?"

Right now, I'm at the most interesting point of my life so far. When I was both a kid and younger adult, I knew the trajectory my life was supposed to take: go to college, get a good job, marry, join a church, have children, retire, die, and go to Heaven. I went to college and that's about all I've accomplished correctly from that list. My orbital trajectory decayed--or got a boost--and I've been lost and confused ever since. I had one shot to get right everything I was taught in my most formative years and I got it wrong. So what do I do with the upcoming decades? 

I'm fixin' to traipse my way into Decade No. 4 and I'm still no closer to figuring out the alternative. I've pretty much all but rejected the authority of the voices that programmed my Original Trajectory. While that should've cleared the way for me to establish my Revised Trajectory, I've left it blank while I try to think of something. I've done this for a few years now and it's not right. O Meaning of Life, where art thou? 

Planning for the future is pointless. Future plans are just pre-cancellations. Anything that can be planned will be interrupted. You save money, but you drain it overdrawing your checking account. You ask someone to marry you, then you break up a month later. You put in extra hours at your job to help out, then get laid off a week later for a stupid mistake or you're just overpaid and the company needs to cut costs. 

When you live under these conditions long enough, you learn to simply live moment-to-moment. When you live with undiagnosed ADHD, maybe some undiagnosed autistic tendencies, and some other wonderful imbalances, you turn to your dreams like a pile of iron filings to a magnet. If I can't make the 'American Dream' happen, I'll facilitate the Other Dream. Indulge the senses, keep the heart and mind open, stay healthy for times of joy and heartache, cultivate relationships, beam on the gorgeous days, ruminate during the gloomy ones, and find stories to live and tell.